I wanted to bring up an idea that is near and dear to me. This idea requires a marked shift in our thinking about what we notice and pay attention to. This shift is not an easy one, and is well worth it. As human beings, it is in our nature to notice the things that are going wrong in a given situation. We do this in our effort to “perfect” behavior and fix any mistakes. If we take a step back, and shift our focus, we can zoom and see what is going right in the same scenario. Why do this? What will this accomplish? These are two very good questions! Have you ever performed a task only to be told that you are not doing it the “right” way? Try to remember how that felt? Did you feel like continuing the task? Did you feel like trying any other task? If we are being honest with ourselves I am relatively certain most of us would answer “no.”
Let us shift the response to our task to one that is more positive and encouraging, for example “ Daniella, I am noticing how hard you are working on this and how focused you are on your work.” What would this response elicit as far as your continued behavior? I believe this will create the desire to continue behaving in this was as well as fostering a learned sense of pride in my work. Even if part of what I am doing is “wrong” I am more likely to try harder and continue trying in future tasks as well. These paths would lead to my greater learning and growth not only in the area I am working on, but in other areas that I am less than 100% sure that I am capable of tackling.
It is important to now look at this from the lens of the parent or teacher, having expectations of the children in front of us. What will this shift create for us? When we focus on what is going right we see the positive in the situation therefore feeling less frustrated or discouraged. Our new found positive focus then changes not only our visual perception but also our behavior toward the children we are observing. This change helps facilitate the changes in the child’s perception and behavior as explained above.
With just this tiny shift in mindset, we better set the stage for our own success as well as the success of those we are caring for.
-Daniella
Let us shift the response to our task to one that is more positive and encouraging, for example “ Daniella, I am noticing how hard you are working on this and how focused you are on your work.” What would this response elicit as far as your continued behavior? I believe this will create the desire to continue behaving in this was as well as fostering a learned sense of pride in my work. Even if part of what I am doing is “wrong” I am more likely to try harder and continue trying in future tasks as well. These paths would lead to my greater learning and growth not only in the area I am working on, but in other areas that I am less than 100% sure that I am capable of tackling.
It is important to now look at this from the lens of the parent or teacher, having expectations of the children in front of us. What will this shift create for us? When we focus on what is going right we see the positive in the situation therefore feeling less frustrated or discouraged. Our new found positive focus then changes not only our visual perception but also our behavior toward the children we are observing. This change helps facilitate the changes in the child’s perception and behavior as explained above.
With just this tiny shift in mindset, we better set the stage for our own success as well as the success of those we are caring for.
-Daniella
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